First stop was a new coat for Matthew. For the amount of money it cost he didn’t actually take that long on deciding which one he wanted.
Which was a shame as we were sat on a very comfy leather sofa.
The only evidence of which is this accompanying footrest.
Also, at this price, you do not seem to get many customers in the queue.
But then again, this could be because everyone else had bought their three quarter length last month when it started getting cold.
If you wish to avoid long queues you must purchase items at the wrong time of year.
For example, now would be a bad time to buy Christmas decorations from the Christmas department.
Which is of course what we did.
There’s nothing quite like a department store at Christmas. They push festive spirit onto the customer with the same persistance as a crack dealer.
With such cheer in the air, a 30% promotional discount on selected lines and Would you like a basket Madam?, Claire was quickly hooked.
After about an hour she had carefully selected six hanging baubles, and so then off to the queue we went.
We originally made a small faux pas by queuing behind the person being served at the till. But were quickly informed by the queue monitor that there was indeed a queue on the other side of the store where other people were also waiting.
After such grand efforts around the rest of the store, I thought that the queue signage was a bit of a let down. What about a black background with some gold, swirly typeface? I mean really, I’ve seen Woolworths try harder than this.
Rather sturdy queue enforcers.
Once you were in that was it. No turning back.
And you could see why they needed them. It was all starting to take a horribly long time and, without the barriers in place, it would have been quite easy to have put the basket down and called it a day for Christmas shopping.
With such a long length of time to consider your pending purchases, previous queuers had, quite rightly, lightened their baskets of some of their ill chosen Christmas decorations. Which were then left willy nilly in the displays along the queue’s edge.
Butterflies and Christmas do not go.
Once we had reached the front of the queue, we were again in the hands of the queue monitor.
She was an extremely attentive queue monitor, and directed us to the first available till (there were only two tills) with such eagerness and with such gusto, that I was instantly awakened from my momentary boredom and almost started to shriek with panic.
But luckily, I did not.
And we waited patiently by the almost free till, and were then served.
At the end of the transaction Matthew showed us a £24.oo bauble that he wanted to buy.
He was firmly told to put it back.