About Standinaqueue
An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderley queue of one.
- - George Mikes
Welcome to a blog about standing in queues. A tongue in cheek look at the British obsession with queues, class, fear of social embarrassment and Greggs.
September 22, 2006 at 9:44 pm
[...] He is soliciting stories about standing in a queue so I’ll try to pay closer attention to the lines I’m in to see if there’s anything bizarre I can share. No doubt there will be. [...]
October 11, 2006 at 3:36 am
I live in Japan. Do you cover just queues in England…or are you interested in Japanese queues as well?
October 14, 2006 at 9:58 am
Hello Melody
I’m definitely interested in Japanese queues too. Send an entry, plus pics if you can, to standinaqueue@gmail.com.
October 15, 2006 at 12:48 pm
OK, it will be a pleasure. Unfortunately, I found your site just days after I’d seen one of the longest queues ever. It was at the Dali exhibit in Tokyo. Unbelievable.
October 24, 2006 at 4:06 pm
I just sent you an email with two pics attached. Hope your spam folder doesn’t eat it!
October 24, 2006 at 4:47 pm
Hello Hsien
Thank you very much indeed, email plus pics have arrived and, may I say, what lovely composition. They will be posted straight away.
November 24, 2006 at 11:34 pm
A wonderful website, but I have an idea…
There should be a page that can only be seen by one person at a time. The page should have an animated hour glass and a minimum waiting time of 3 minutes. It should also show the number of people queuing to view the page and your position in the queue. When you finally arrive at the page it should say “Page unavailable. Please queue here to view further content”.
This has the potential to form the worlds largest international electronic queue and may qualify for the My Goodness Book of Records. What do you think? I shall form a queue of one to await your reply.
November 25, 2006 at 1:04 am
How very web 2.4 Laurence (Australia).
November 25, 2006 at 5:31 am
Version 2.5 coming soon with these delicious extras:
*Talk to the person behind you.
*Extra points for a perfectly straight line.
*Full instructions on how to form a second queue and be first in line.
*How to annoy everyone behind you by asking at the counter for road directions to Lhasa, Tibet, including the best route to avoid traffic lights.
*Comes free with folding stool and sandwich pack.
Requires comfortable pair of shoes for optimum performance.
Queue now for your copy… face mask included to fool the security camera.
November 25, 2006 at 11:39 am
My dear Laurence of Australia, I think that that is a brilliant idea.
I would love to have the know-how to implement it. Although at the end of the queue I would prefer to have something there to reward the patient queuer. Like a lovely photo, or a link to somewhere interesting, either of which would change for each person at the head of the queue. So you can always
come back to queue for some more of the same.
And to put into action a way to talk to the person in front or behind is also a stroke of genius. It would probably be good practice for helping us Brits loosen up in real queuing situations.
To be honest, Laurence of Australia, you have planted the seeds of a dream: one queue for all. Regardless of race, creed or colour
Is there anyone out there who knows how to do this?
November 26, 2006 at 12:19 am
It is essential for the queuer to join the queue with high expectations of reaching their goal. It is also essential that when reaching the counter they only achieve 20% of this goal. Part of which should be the discovery that they have to join a second, even longer, queue.
“The satisfaction of queuing is not reaching the counter but being part of the queue” Anon.
Would require a major bit of programming, say ASP or PHP scripts and database. Like all dreams they are almost, but not quite, impossible.
December 14, 2006 at 12:19 am
what do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut?
A Barbeque.
From a Christmas cracker.
Gary Wood
December 14, 2006 at 12:16 pm
This is higly irreligious, Gary. The barbeque here is held with deep sanctity. As is the stubbies and slightly burnt dead cow. Permission to travel to Australia as an outlawed convict has been withdrawn.
December 14, 2006 at 1:57 pm
Do Australians have crackers?
If not, I don’t think I want to go. I had to leave the States for that very reason.
December 14, 2006 at 10:58 pm
Crackers are biscuits is the USofA. I learned it on the Simpson’s.
and guns are toys
(controversial)
December 15, 2006 at 9:52 am
We have all the trimming of Xmas here. Crackers, presents, obscene amounts of advertising, but no snow. You guys wouldn’t like it. Trying to eat stuffed turkey and roast potatoes in 40 degrees celsius is no fun. The sand from the beach makes the plum duff a bit gritty. No, you are best off in Britain. Plenty of rain, wind and snow. All huddled round a coal fire toasting muffins. It’s not the same when you have to spend Xmas day on the beach. It seems so alien. But it does have its benefits. Bikinis, ice cream, sun tan lotion and surfing.
http://www.northbondirsl.com.au/gallery1.html
December 15, 2006 at 6:23 pm
Santa must be very warm, or does he wear a red and white thong?
January 8, 2007 at 8:11 pm
I like it here, its nice and quiet.
June 23, 2007 at 11:02 am
Ssshhhhhhhh. You’ll wake the dolphins…
August 16, 2007 at 7:45 pm
Can’t wait for you to get to greggs.
January 9, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Come home?
June 1, 2008 at 11:36 am
Now?
June 3, 2008 at 5:00 pm
I did come back but you didn’t come and see me.
June 10, 2008 at 6:55 pm
Try again
April 13, 2013 at 7:50 pm
Great blog, wish this was still active!