Stood in the Congo

You will now find me here. And with Atamato.

Come and say hello.

The Post Office, Leicester

Off to the Post Office in Leicester as this is the nearest P.O. to me that issues International Driver’s Permits on the spot. I needed the permit straight away as it looks like I’ll be driving a motorbike while in the Congo. Although don’t tell my insurance company.

It was quite a long queue. And rather rowdy too, with much talking and laughing within the ranks. I had not been standing in the queue for a couple of minutes, with the occasional thought to my future home, when a lady shot past on my right and planted a kiss on the cheek of a gentleman three persons ahead.

That’s her above. The fuzzy beige shape with buttons up the back of her legs.

She was very pleased to see the gentleman and was quite flirtatious. She often touched his arm and even placed her hand on his chest, twice. She clearly thought him a good catch, even though in his right hand he carried a McDonalds Happy Meal.

That’s him there, with his dreads in a ponytail.

It was at this point when the two ladies behind me, who were strangers to each other, started commenting on whether the Lady in Beige intended to keep her appropriated place in the queue. If it was not for her lascivious behaviour I’m sure that they would not have tutted quite so loudly, but tut they did. And I’m rather certain that the Lady in Beige heard one of their tuts, with her chosen response being to merely run her fingers through her full bodied head of hair. The vixen.

I actually didn’t mind so much, and rather enjoyed her show. She was very good at it and, although she was neither posh nor a market stall holder, she said Darling quite a lot, especially to the gentleman in front who she occasionally banged into with her bag. I am sorry Darling.

I wasn’t watching the whole time, and at one point was distracted by thoughts of whether I should buy a water bottle or not. You see, I’m going to go and see what I can do to help out with some blogs and will be travelling between places quite a lot. I did later on decide yes to the bottle and purchased a shiny red thing that carries 1.5 litres, but lets not get distracted.

As we made our way around the barriers, and approached the front of the queue, yet another lady passed me on my right, but this time with a small boy in tow who was also carrying a McDonalds Happy Meal. She was delighted to see the Lady in Beige, and the Lady in Beige also showed delight but stepped away from the man with the Happy Meal.

That’s the edges of Lady number 2 and small child, to the right of the picture.

Cashier number 4 please, Cashier number 6 please, and the group were soon at the front of the queue. The Lady in Beige skilfully turned her back to the counters so that she could chat to the couple and also be at the front of the group, and once Cashier number 7 please was announced she was Lovely to see you Darling, and you Darling, and made her way to the counter.

I could still hear her Darlings when I was at till four, although to be fair, she wasn’t that far away from me.

As I leave tomorrow, the day before Valentine’s Day, Cashier number 4 wondered how I would get all my Valentines cards if I was already off on my travels. I was feeling rather bold and answered that I would get them all forwarded to me in a great big parcel. “To the Congo?” she said, “you’ll be lucky.”

She’s right. There’ll be no post and probably not any queues either. Although should I happen to chance upon one, I can guarantee that it will feature here on Standinaqueue.

I’ve decided that we cannot shut the doors to Standinaqueue as I quite like it here and I hope that you do too. I think together we have managed to create a wealth of information on the art of queuing, what with the brilliant comments and the number of guest queuers, and lets not forget the momentous International Standinaqueue Day, and so it would be a shame if that was it, All the best, Cheerio.

And so for the next year the posts will be infrequent with, I should imagine, whole months passing without any activity. Although, if you would like to keep the torch burning and contribute to Standinaqueue, send me a mail and I’ll post up your queue story.

I will, in a couple of weeks, be starting a new blog. One that is more appropriate to my location. Although the address of said blog is yet unknown, as well as the topic, but once decided I’ll post the address here and would love it if you all came along.

The time spent here at Standinaqueue has been rather lovely, and for that I thank you all.

Cheers.

Beijing, China

Sparked by Gorgeous‘ comments in a previous post, Dr David Brand has pursued the story of queues in China and kindly brings us the following:

Gorgeous’ item about the citizens of Beijing (Beijingers?) queuing on the 11th of each month so enthused me that I looked up the news item myself – and what a gem it is.

The 11th of every month in Beijing is to be “voluntarily wait in line” day, yet the city envisages “punishment and reward schemes”. “Orderly queues are a rare sight”, yet I had always understood that China was the epitome of civilisation. Alas, how wrong I have evidently been.

It is also interesting the the Beijing authorities place queue-jumping in the same category as littering and spitting. “Random garbage disposal and spitting are not good for people’s health”, we are told, and I’m sure that the same must be true for queue-jumping.

How inspiring it is that the Capital Ethic Development Office (why can’t our UK Government have one of theses?) recognises that “where there are more than two people, they should wait in line”. There is surely a lesson there for us all. And how gratifying to note that we devotees of the Queue are at last recognised as “missionaries of civilisation”.

That brings me to the uplifting slogans adopted by the various districts:

“It’s civilised to queue, it’s glorious to be polite.”

“Voluntarily wait in line, be polite and put other people first.”

“I care about and participate in the Olympics and set an example by queuing.”

and finally

“I am a member of the queue.”

These people could almost be English.

However, perhaps the Beijing authorities don’t realise the extent to which their people already queue. Here are two delightful photos of people queuing to visit Chairman Mao’s Mausoleum:

The Chinese are giving an exemplary display of queuing etiquette: an orderly line, no communication between the queuers, and even the provision of an apparently pointless barrier in order to mark out an empty rectangle.

Here’s another one:

There’s something rather sinister and totalitarian about the regimented formation of this queue, with its too precise ninety-degree turn. And finally, evidence that the Beijing authorities should provide more facilities for their visitors:

The picture’s title is ‘Forbidden City Rest Room Queue’.

So it seems that Beijing already has a rich queuing culture – however, any queue is capable of improvement. Each queue is only a partial realisation of that Platonic ideal: the perfect queue. I therefore commend the authorities of Beijing for their efforts to move their city a little closer to this Queuing Nirvana.

The Tip, Leicester

Samantha spent Saturday night smashing up her built-in wardrobe with a hammer. And so Sunday morning brought with it a phone-call to drive both her and a pile of plywood to her local tip.

Unfortunately her local tip is not like our rural affair in Market Harborough, but is instead smack bang in the middle of the city of Leicester and is shared by a significant number of DIY weekend enthusiasts.

Here we have an aerial shot of the queue leading into the tip, which Samantha took from the roof of our car.

It was not a fast mover, and most had turned off their engines. This however led newcomers to believe that we were parked and not queued, and so they tried to enter the skip by driving past we patient queuers, who incidentally were all tuned in to BBC Radio 4. Or so I like to think.

In the above picture is a cheeky chap who soon learns the error of his ways and is compelled to make a hasty retreat, and shown below a second chap who, clearly rather embarrassed by his unwitting attempt to queue jump, decides to turn around and leave the area completely.

There were those who avoided the queue by entering and leaving the tip on foot.

Despite signs forbidding that you should do so.

And finally, here is the queue master, the chap in neon in charge of the barrier.

Who was terribly nice and called me ‘pal’ twice.

However do not let this distract from the fact that he waved in a friend driving a large white van who, after the removal of two strategically placed traffic cones, was able to enter the tip ahead of the queue.

PS. News about my imminent trip to the Congo and, more importantly, the future of Standinaqueue will be given this weekend.