Some time last week Gary Wood complained about the lack of queue at Standinaqueue, and I do fear that if Gary Wood is disgruntled then other readers may be so also.
May I thank you all for allowing me some leeway over the Christmas and New Year period, and I am well aware that I promised to stand in queues as soon as this year, that we’re already comfortably in, began. However, there does seem to be a hiatus of queues in British towns of late and I wonder if this has anything to do with the big skive that we heard much about last week.
This Saturday afternoon just past, I went to visit my older sister in the city of Leicester and was prepared to have at least three queues under my belt by the time darkness fell. Unfortunately, despite being in a prime location at a prime time, I have only two queuing situations to report on.
The first was in Tesco.
With my sister’s trolley full it was time to head to the checkouts and I anticipated, with a certain degree of excitement, that we could be in for a small wait.
Although it was at this point that Samantha realised that she’d forgotten to pick up Saturday’s Guardian, and so off I was made to trot.
And by the time I got back she was already packing.
The queue had already happened, without me in it.
Fresh out of Tesco’s car park we went to fill up at the petrol station, and I hoped that here at least there would be a small line of people waiting inside the shop.
But alas it was not to be as we could, and did, pay at the pump.
After lunch, we caught a matinee at Leicester’s Odeon and again I expected to queue.
But we were stood here only briefly and within no time at all Samantha was purchasing two adult tickets for Miss Potter.
Leaving the queuing area empty except for one small girl.
Although in the above picture you see her in a moment of contemplation, just after this photograph was taken the small girl, with the rebellious nature of a Dadaist, showed utter disregard for the rules set in place by the queue dividers, ducked under the red ribbon, and ran in a full circle around the metal stand.
January 8, 2007 at 10:17 am
OooOOOooh. Dadaist. Learned something new today.
January 8, 2007 at 1:20 pm
Miss Potter – any good?
January 8, 2007 at 7:56 pm
Harry Potter’s mum? What powers does she have?
I like it when you two go shopping, I enjoy zooming in on what food you both buy.
I was ‘into’ ryvitas once, might get some tomorrow.
January 9, 2007 at 10:59 am
Ryvitas are fun: you can spread them on the side with the dimples, and that way you get much more butter!
If you top that of with a nice honey, you have a delicious, high-calorie treat.
January 9, 2007 at 1:06 pm
Miss Potter was my sister’s choice and, although watchable, it was not my type of film.
However Sam Tana, do not let this put you off, my sister thoroughly enjoyed the film in every possible way intended. As a fan of all things Victoriana, Beatrix Potter, and beautiful countryside she was, although 30 years of age, on the edge of her seat for the entire film.
Actually, there was one part of the film that I am glad I experienced and I think can only be achieved should you go to a matinee viewing. It was an audience of mostly senior citizens and the audible gasp throughout the cinema when Ewan McGregor took advantage of the steam enveloping around him and Miss Potter, and actually stole a kiss on the lips!, made me nostalgic for a time I never knew.
January 9, 2007 at 1:07 pm
I rather like the sesame ryvitas with philadelphia cheese and strawberry jam.
January 9, 2007 at 3:46 pm
Ugh. William! You plot spoiler!
January 9, 2007 at 4:25 pm
Thank you, William. You’ve made me yearn to steal away to the cinema and watch Miss Potter while consuming a smuggled-in supply of Ryvita (with butter and honey). Would the crunching annoy fellow viewers?
January 9, 2007 at 6:21 pm
Sorry Hsien. But I’m afraid Renee herself may spoil the film for everyone with the way that she screws up her face to show each emotion.
Happy: screws up face.
Sad: screws up face.
By the end of the film I wanted to punch her in the face. As a woman from the Victorian era, she was unconvincing.
Sam Tana, I think that the sound of crunching ryvitas would be no competition for the noise created by fifty pairs of arthritic hands, unwrapping boiled sweets.
January 9, 2007 at 6:29 pm
Two ryvitas together make an interesting sandwich.
Well, depending on the filling of course.
January 9, 2007 at 9:49 pm
What better filling could one have than lots of butter and lots of honey?
January 9, 2007 at 11:12 pm
Monster Munch
January 10, 2007 at 6:44 am
with humous.
January 10, 2007 at 10:09 am
… with humour?
January 10, 2007 at 4:34 pm
Only the animal fluid kind.
January 10, 2007 at 7:33 pm
Animal fluid humour?
January 10, 2007 at 8:11 pm
Yes, as opposed to plant humour.
Which doesn’t taste half as good.
January 10, 2007 at 8:15 pm
Although, after chastising you for your spelling, I fear I have falsely Anglicised the spelling of humor.
January 10, 2007 at 8:53 pm
Wait a minute, this isn’t at all about queues!
I’m going to a different post.
January 11, 2007 at 10:19 am
The four animal humours would not taste at all nice in any kind of sandwich. I would list them, but for the fact that this blog is designed for family viewing.
I agree with Gary Wood that this thread has wandered far too far away from the subject of queues. But wait a minute …. this divergence started in the third comment when Gary Wood himself mentioned Ryvitas.
This is outrageous behaviour – to divert a queuing discussion into alien areas – and then to complain about it.
Shame on you, Gary Wood. Shame on you.
January 11, 2007 at 7:36 pm
I don’t run the site, who moderates this thing?
I think we need moderation.
Ahhhh, Ryvitas, who would have thought something so ugly could be so delightful.
January 12, 2007 at 11:41 am
Yum, current ryvitas, pickle and brie. I would stand in any queue for that.
January 12, 2007 at 12:17 pm
Gary Wood, you are right: we do indeed need moderation.
Moderation in all things – especially moderation.
January 12, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Sarah Deed, I don’t think I’ve come across current ryvitas. Are they something to do with electricity?
Electrons queue – sort of.
January 12, 2007 at 6:21 pm
I thought that electrons are always rushing around and trying to push in. Don’t protons have the potential strength of character to stand in a queue?
January 12, 2007 at 7:59 pm
The nucleus is the only one with patience to stand in a queue.
Does oxygen queue up to go in my lungs, and then queue to get back out?
I aim this question at you: Dr David Brand.
January 13, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Gary Wood, I fear that nothing but allergens seem to queue up and enter your lungs.
January 13, 2007 at 6:48 pm
Gary Wood, the essence of a queue must surely be that it is static from time to time. Since oxygen molecules are in constant random motion, I fear that they cannot be said to be Queuing at all.
I’m sorry to have to disappoint you, but I’m sure that with your resilience you will make a speedy recovery – despite William Deed’s less than complimentary remark about allergens.
January 13, 2007 at 6:50 pm
If you had a Proton car you could Queue in that.
January 13, 2007 at 8:19 pm
Gary Wood is the only person that I know who is allergic to daylight. Oh, and nighttime too.
January 14, 2007 at 3:32 pm
Hey! hey! hey!
Its mostly dust and pollen, I’m not one of those people who burst into flames in daylight.
Oh, cats too. They’re the worst.
If I held my breath the oxygen molecules would surely have to wait in a line to get out?
January 14, 2007 at 5:11 pm
No, Gary Wood. No.
January 14, 2007 at 8:54 pm
“Wait in (a) line” is a crude Americanism, and has little relevance to the British art of Queuing.
January 14, 2007 at 10:02 pm
Hear hear.
January 15, 2007 at 7:57 pm
Too many rom-coms have changed the way I speak and spell.
It’s a shame, I’ve starting from scratch by watching the BBC’s version of the Lion Witch and Wardrobe.
They speak well good in that, like.
January 16, 2007 at 1:28 pm
Wow, chemistry and english lessons, this goes beyond a queue. I think it is time for a light interval joke that an american wouldn´t understand.
Why did the man drown in his muesli?
He was pulled in by a strong currant!
January 16, 2007 at 6:05 pm
Very good, more of the same please Sarah
January 16, 2007 at 6:26 pm
Very good Sarah! But why wouldn’t an American understand it?
Are you Sarah (another!) or Sarah Deed – or another Sarah (altogether!)?
January 16, 2007 at 7:38 pm
I wonder the same, but my spider sense tells me Deed
January 16, 2007 at 7:59 pm
Judging by the poor quality of joke, I’d say it was a Deed.
As to why an American would not understand it, I have no idea.
January 17, 2007 at 5:51 pm
Maybe they don’t have muesli…. sometimes i wonder why we have it.
January 17, 2007 at 6:12 pm
I’ve just asked Miss Deed and she admits that the joke was hers.
She believes that currant is not an oft used word in the US and that they tend to use raisin instead.
January 26, 2007 at 12:59 pm
William Deed, I am very concerned about the Dadaiste little girl. Instead of patiently Queuing boustrophedon (gosh, I’ve wanted to use that word for years), as defined by the Queue dividers, she breaks the hallowed convention of Queuing.
Surely, by her age, she should have absorbed such rudiments of Queuing from her mother. Is this woman (who is evidently so flagrantly neglecting her parental duty) fit to look after a small child? Should you inform the Social Services? Should the Dadaiste be served with an ASBO?
This worries me. You know what they say:
Queue-breaker at three,
Law-breaker at twenty-three.
I think that we should act decisively, before any further damage is done.
January 26, 2007 at 4:27 pm
David Brand, before I reply to your message I would first like to congratulate you on the use of the word ‘boustrophedon’.
You may be right about the lawlessness behaviour of this young girl, and that it may be best to nip this one in the bud before it blossoms into a fully grown ASBO.
Therefore I ask all, when in Leicester, to be vigilant for a blonde haired girl with a red coat. It is only right that she is reprimanded before she single handedly destroys what it means to be British.
January 31, 2007 at 10:16 am
William Deed, in alerting the good people of Leicester to the contumacious (ditto, but for weeks) behaviour of the little Dadaiste, you have acted in a most public-spirited manner and I congratulate you.
However, I came across the following rather charming description of Dadaism: “Dada artists produced works which were nihilistic or reflected a cynical attitude toward social values, and, at the same time, irrational — absurd and playful, emotive and intuitive, and often cryptic. Less a style than a zeitgeist, Dadaists typically produced art objects in unconventional forms produced by unconventional methods.”
This made me think that the Dadaiste little girl might in fact have been producing a work of art – transient and evanescent, but a work of art nonetheless?
If so, it was certainly both nihilistic and reflected a cynical attitude toward social values; at the same time, it was also irrational — absurd and playful, emotive and intuitive.
April 12, 2007 at 10:41 am
Ich besichtige deinen Aufstellungsort wieder bald fur sicheres!
June 12, 2008 at 12:35 pm
Hi All
Can someone translate David Brand’s comment into Australian for me. What does “nonetheless” mean. I tried looking it up in the Australian dictionery but I couldn’t sbell it. This “work of art” thing. Is that the same as where we skinned a kangaroo and nailed it to the bar wall ? It did look nice after we washed the blood off the wallpaper. Thanks in advabce.
Lorence of Auztralia.
(Psst… Anyone know what the German said ? Did he mention the war).