We have another entry for International Standinaqueue Day. Hooray. The brilliant Tom Blackford reports on the queues in Waterloo Station.
In london, as everybody knows, money talks, so it should come as no suprise to see dedicated ‘first class only’ queues in the ticket offices of stations in our beloved captial.
It is, however, commonly accepted by all good people that when standing before the cold efficiency of the automated ticket vending machine, all men (and women) are equal - a view clearly not shared by the enraged city-type who, in the absence of a machine dedicated to important people like himself had taken to executing daring dives towards the coveted front few places in each queue, in the hope that someone would notice his obvious importance, do the decent thing, and let him in.
The queue were already moving slowly due to delays arising from an absurd design flaw in the machines which meant that, without bending over and obscenely thrusting one’s behind into the crotch of the person behind, the majority of the screen used to enter one’s pin number is obscured from view.
Clearly, in an effort to cut costs within the creaking Rail system, somebody had employed pygmies to test the ergonomics of the machines, with tragic consequences. As it was, I was left to smirk into my copy of Metro as said city type lunged ever faster between the various queues, before eventually retreating in despair.
A smirk which was soon replaced by a grimace of pain as I realised that in all the excitement, I too had missed my train.