Starbucks, Edinburgh

I’m not a great fan of Starbucks as they don’t understand the importance of being kept in a queue.

There is always a perfectly good queue leading to the cash till, which moves very quickly, however once you’ve made and paid for your order you still have to wait for your coffee but without the luxury of standing in line.

Unlike a queue where everyone faces the same way and knows where to look, waiting for your coffee involves an uncomfortable gathering at the other end of the counter.

It would be silly to stand behind the fellow with the blurry face and so instead I have to stand next to the chap as if we were associates sharing a drink at a bar.

But of course we are not, and no words are shared between us. The lady who was in front of me in the queue was obviously too uncomfortable to stand with the two of us and instead wasted time by arranging her coat on the back of a chair. Leaving the two of us avoiding eye contact and with nothing to look at except her cooling cup of Americano.

Greggs, Edinburgh

A lunchtime queue at Greggs.

It was a rather jovial affair with music playing, people singing and greggs’ workers laughing, although this could not disguise the fact that it was more of a huddle than a queue.

There was a main column of people down the centre of the shop which one joined regardless of your desired purchase. It was only when you were closer to the counter did you branch off to the right for doughnuts and the like, or to the left for sandwiches. I branched off to the left.

Help Elvin Misut write his Economics Paper

One of the philosophies here at standinaqueue is to deconstruct the art of British queuing so that all may understand. No queue is too big or too small, we will stand in them all and observe, learn and then if we can, educate.

This morning I received a request from Elvin Misut who needs help in writing his Economics Paper. He writes:

Hi,

I just saw your page on waiting in a line and was wondering if you could give me any suggestions on what to write about on my paper in my Economic’s class. The topic is :

The observation that people must wait in line in order to assure themselves of getting a good is evidence that market clearing prices are not being charged.

 

 

Thanks in advance

 

Unfortunately I know nothing of Economics and so offer this question up for all to answer. I would take a guess that because of a looming deadline Elvin is starting to panic and has looked to google for the answers.

 

 

 

All suggestions welcome.

Sainsbury’s, Edinburgh

Edinburgh is a city of many queues.

I found this one in Sainsbury’s.

It was an express checkout governed by a witch.

Managers who force workers to do “fun” things should be shot.

The poor lady was old enough not only to be someone’s mother, but probably a granny too. She was unable to look me in the eye and did not smile once.

Neither I, nor anyone else in the queue smiled.

I cheered up though when I saw this familiar sight.

Unfortunately I had no time to investigate the rules of this Greggs’ queue.

Hole in the Wall & Tesco, Edinburgh

Lovely layout at the Holes in the Wall outside Tesco.

Two foot sized marks show you where to stand when at the cashpoint with two more for the person queuing behind. Brilliant.

Inside, things weren’t going so great. When Gary Wood complains that he’s tired it’s best to put him in the queue and go for the forgotten milk by yourself.

By the time I got back our items were already being swiped.

And Gary Wood was still tired.

Cabaret Voltaire, Edinburgh

We came to see Justice.

It was a very long queue. Slow moving and fast growing, after a few minutes we had not moved and yet we were halfway down the queue.

It took about half an hour until we reached the smokers who, because of Scotland’s non smoking laws, had to come outside for a cigarette.

There’s railings between us and them, and we looked on rather enviously at the cheerful lot who were ‘inside’ and yet actually on the outside in the cold having a fag and not wearing a coat.

Once in the club it made sense why all the smokers were so happy. Inside there was a queue to go outside and have a cigarette which, because of the small outside area, had a half hour wait.

As you can imagine, the queue of tipsy addicts waiting to go for a smoke looked furious, and yet once it was their turn to go outside they cheered up no end.

Smoking makes you fickle.

Sainsbury’s at Fosse Park, Leicester

Popped in to taste the difference with a chicken and coriander sandwich.

The cigarette counter queue is normally a quick mover, but I could tell with one glance that this lady to the left of the picture was not going to be efficient. Not only was she facing the wrong way but she kept searching frantically in her bag.

Eventually she stood in line but she still seemed rather distracted. Once at the front of the queue she admitted to the cashier that she had not fully filled in all the boxes on her lottery sheet.

It took a while to sort out them out, and afterwards she also wanted a couple of instant scratchcards, it didn’t matter which ones.

“Su-Dosh-Ku instants?”

“No, not those ones.”

Borders at Fosse Park, Leicester

Borders on a Friday morning.

One of the hazards of having interesting things along the queuing area is that you’ll have people interested in the things and not queuing, and thus blocking entry into the queuing area.

A quick tap on the back of the head had the little fella out of the way.

Grandad was buying a copy of CSI Miami, which the student store assistant thought was the better of the CSIs. Grandad agreed although he does really like CSI New York, which he was going to buy for his wife at Christmas.

Lidl & Aldi, Market Harborough

I rather like Lidl and Aldi. I never have any change for a trolley and, as there are no baskets, I can only buy what I’m able to carry. And so whenever I want to try and save some pennies I always shop at Lidl and Aldi knowing that it is physically impossible for me to come away with more than I can afford.

However these two shops are nextdoor to each other in Market Harborough and so I can never visit one without visiting the other. Despite this, two armfuls of groceries are still cheaper than a basketful of goods from Sainsbury’s.

I noticed yesterday in Sainsbury’s that along the conveyor belt there are a selection of reading materials. The majority of which are pamphlets for the financial services that Sainsbury’s offers, and to counter the sobriety of these they also have a couple of copies of Closer magazine.

Today I took note of what lined the conveyor belts at Lidl and Aldi to see how they compared to Sainsbury’s and indeed to each other. I thought maybe from these finer details I could solve the puzzle of which of these European supermarkets was of the better class.

First stop Lidl.

It was hard to ignore the vast amount of shoe polish.

I loved the way that they caught the light although it is a shame that they weren’t all the right way up. Also, despite the large number of polish there was only a choice of two colours, brown and black.

Next to the polish there was camera film.

Lots of it too. Although I rather feel in this digital age that this space could have been better filled.

Finally, we had car air freshners.

One air freshner, two refills. Practical, although the name CarDEO makes it sound like cars sweat.

Next stop Aldi.

Car speakers and digital TV cards underneath a perspex unit along with other electrical items on offer.

On the other side of the aisle were chocolate coins.

So many different types to rummage through and all the same price. I also rather liked the handwritten sign and the rogue apostrophe.

I would love to say that Aldi is of the better class, although I fear that the handwritten signs may be against this conclusion. Aesthetically the displays at Lidl were better to look at, although the perspex container at Aldi did emit an air of exclusivity.

I think some further investigation is needed before I mark one supermarket as superior to the other.

Sainsbury’s, Market Harborough

We joined the queue in Sainsbury’s.

Moments later, the store manager put up the following sign:

Even though we had yet to put any items on the conveyor belt, the manager informed us that we were the last in the queue.

We of course smiled our gratitude and indeed felt rather priviledged to be in this now exclusive queue. Although our smug smiles were soon on the other side of our faces when we realised that the onus was now on us to inform fellow shoppers that the queue we were standing in was only for us.

It’s the fear of this kind of social interaction that keeps us English awake at night.

It was easy with the young lady, she registered the sign as we apologised that the checkout was now closing, and quickly moved on. Although it did cause quite a lot of confusion with the elderly gentleman, and he walked away looking beleaguered. And yet this was relatively easy in comparison with the rather stressed looking lady who was struggling with a shopping basket and a wheelchair bound granny.

It was only once we had all items on the conveyor belt that the sign was clear for all to see and we felt as though we could relax a bit and enjoy the queue.

While we waited there were a number of reading materials for our perusal.

Or Closer magazine.

To be honest, I didn’t think they should be worrying about her weight but instead why her breasts had drooped down to her hips. Shocking in one so young.

At this point Sarah was rather amused by the article on Jordan. My attention however had shifted to the lady in the blue coat, who had started to hum the theme tune to Superman as she bagged the last of her shopping.